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When the grocery store "Customers who bought this also bought" algorithm knows you better than you know yourself ๐ฌ
1 year ago
297
I didn't see that coming ๐. Worst therapy session ever.
1 year ago
303
My computer after seeing me online 24/7: "Dude, please, go outside, meet someone. I'm worried for you."
1 year ago
253
When you're so deep in credit card debt that you change your name to Visa
1 year ago
250
Me explaining to my mom how I can become famous with minimal effort ๐
1 year ago
262
When you slide into her DMs with Duke Nukem lines and she actually replies ๐
1 year ago
258
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
1 year ago
291
"I find your lack of Darth Invader disturbing."
1 year ago
303
When customer service goes above and beyond ๐. A family of walruses on vacation? No problem! ๐๏ธ
1 year ago
306
Me trying to understand my math homework after staring at it for 5 minutes straight
1 year ago
258
When you realize the baby formula aisle at the supermarket is actually the Bat Signal.๐ฆ
1 year ago
186
Me when someone offers me the last slice of pizza
1 year ago
277
CRT monitors: built for maximum cat comfort. LCD monitors: feels bad, bro.
1 year ago
175
One society helps each other when disaster strikes. The other society loots and causes violence when disaster strikes.๐ค
1 year ago
260
"Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Mohammad."
Me: *has a heart attack*
Daughter: "Just kidding, he's named Steve."
Me: "Thank god, for a second there, I thought I was going to have to learn Arabic."