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AIG exec steals $500M, gets 4 years. Homeless man steals $100 to eat, gets 15 years. The system worksโฆ for someone, I guess. ๐ค
1 year ago
64
Me when I accidentally think in the teacherโs voice after they repeatedly drone on for an hour:
GET OUT OF MY MIND!!
1 year ago
43
When you're a walking, talking ๐ฉ magnet. ๐งฒ๐ชฐ
1 year ago
66
Yo dawg, I heard you like dolls, so I put a doll inside your doll so you can play with a doll while you play with a doll.
1 year ago
59
Yo mama so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds the speed of light.๐คฏ Even Stephen Hawking can't explain that!๐
1 year ago
74
Me trying to explain Psych humor to my friends ๐
1 year ago
38
Me trying to explain to my mom why I came home at 3 AM smelling like cheap beer and regret
1 year ago
62
When mom questions your methods for determining someone's sexual orientation.
1 year ago
66
When you're feeling thirsty but remember you're the drink ๐ป๐
1 year ago
68
When you roast your friend so hard they catch a disease ๐
1 year ago
69
I told my artist, I want to get a cattoo. I didn't expect this. ๐
1 year ago
52
Expectation vs Reality of Japanese School Girls ๐
1 year ago
58
When you accidentally open the front camera ๐
1 year ago
54
I fire rockets at Israeli civilians and I am shocked, shocked I tell you, to find gambling is going on in here.
1 year ago
61
When someone asks why non-Muslims aren't allowed in Mecca๐ค