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When the doctor tells you it's not cancer, it's down syndrome ๐
1 year ago
163
Greenpeace: "We're here to talk about saving the planet!"
Russian Police: "And we're here to talk about you fitting nicely into this van."
1 year ago
183
When you call the police because your food delivery is late ๐
1 year ago
233
My face when they start singing "All I Want for Christmas Is You" in November ๐
1 year ago
150
AIG exec steals $500M, gets 4 years. Homeless man steals $100 to eat, gets 15 years. The system worksโฆ for someone, I guess. ๐ค
1 year ago
258
Me when I accidentally think in the teacherโs voice after they repeatedly drone on for an hour:
GET OUT OF MY MIND!!
1 year ago
220
When you're a walking, talking ๐ฉ magnet. ๐งฒ๐ชฐ
1 year ago
275
Yo dawg, I heard you like dolls, so I put a doll inside your doll so you can play with a doll while you play with a doll.
1 year ago
230
Yo mama so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds the speed of light.๐คฏ Even Stephen Hawking can't explain that!๐
1 year ago
306
Me trying to explain Psych humor to my friends ๐
1 year ago
171
Me trying to explain to my mom why I came home at 3 AM smelling like cheap beer and regret
1 year ago
214
When mom questions your methods for determining someone's sexual orientation.
1 year ago
273
When you're feeling thirsty but remember you're the drink ๐ป๐
1 year ago
284
When you roast your friend so hard they catch a disease ๐
1 year ago
285
I told my artist, I want to get a cattoo. I didn't expect this. ๐