When you accidentally swallow a fly and it starts doing butterfly in your stomach ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฆ‹
10 days ago
Me trying to find a good seat at the movie theatre ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 days ago
Me trying to figure out what time it is after daylight savings ๐Ÿ˜ด
10 days ago
Me considering a career in politics after seeing how little accountability there is ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 days ago
Mario's Valentine's Day card is wholesome, Dry Bones' is ๐Ÿ’€, but Bowser's... yikes. Poor Peach needs a restraining order.
10 days ago
When you're 'pro-life' but also 'pro-war' and 'pro-guns'. ๐Ÿค” Make it make sense!
10 days ago
'Murica! Land of the free, home of the brave, and birthplace of the phrase 'So what if we are number 47 in healthcare?' ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ”๐ŸŸ
10 days ago
When you take fantasy football a little too seriously ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 days ago
Just another day conquering Poland and posting selfies on Insta. #blessed #fรผhrer #instawar
10 days ago
Me trying to convince myself that the fan is a heartbeat and I'm not just lonely ๐Ÿ˜ญ
10 days ago
When your marketing strategy is on point ๐Ÿ˜‚. "First drink's on us...and so is something else ๐Ÿ˜‰."
10 days ago
So true! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Men are always searching for new connections, while women connect to the strongest and best one. It's all about range and signal strength. ๐Ÿ“ถ
10 days ago
When you skip leg day but accidentally max out on wing day ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฆ
10 days ago
God accidentally added a pinch of assholes to Earth. Oops. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
10 days ago
Me trying to explain to my wife why I suddenly became nostalgic looking at a black couch ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 days ago