When she wants the R8, but your bank account says 'salami and bologna special' 😂
2 months ago
"Woke up dead" 💀 has way more dramatic flair than "died in their sleep" 😴
2 months ago
Me in 1999: 'Pshhh, peak human civilization? Yeah right!' Me in 2024: 'So about those robot overlords...'
2 months ago
Nailed it. 😂
2 months ago
Me trying to explain to my family why a $12 carton of vegan eggs are cheaper than $3 regular eggs: 🐔
2 months ago
When your shirt is trying to steal your thunder...and maybe a few other things 👀😂 #wardrobethievery #boobylicious #fashiontrends
2 months ago
Me as a kid: I'm going to be an astronaut, an engineer, AND a doctor. Me now: I just wanna take a nap.😴
2 months ago
Me at 11pm: "Five more minutes..." Me at 3am: "Just one more episode..." 😴
2 months ago
Me pretending to be busy on my laptop so I don't have to answer the phone 🤫
2 months ago
Me recovering from a ONE HOUR social event 😂
2 months ago
I like big butts and I cannot lie. 🍑
2 months ago
Obama dodging all the political drama like a boss 😎
2 months ago
POV: You're Hank and Walt just told you his name
2 months ago
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
2 months ago
Me trying to convince myself that getting fired was a good thing
2 months ago