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Me trying to convince myself that getting fired was a good thing
2 months ago
Me, in a wheelchair, seeing a sign that says "Today is the day we take the stairs": Well, challenge accepted! I mean, maybe not today... but definitely someday... or maybe not.
2 months ago
Me after reading a Troy McClure meme: "You are now breathing manually."
2 months ago
When your aunt walks in on you watching the Endless Eight arc, judges you, then you remind her why you're watching anime in the first place 😂
2 months ago
When the toilet paper is made of duct tape and Jigsaw invites you to play a game, choosing between using sandpaper and your hand becomes the ultimate dilemma. 😂
2 months ago
When you land your first movie role and haven't quite grasped the implications of the title just yet. 😬
2 months ago
When you want to express your love for public transportation, but society just doesn't understand. 😔
2 months ago
Me trying to casually walk out of the Adidas store with a new pair of shoes without paying 🏃🏻♀️💨
2 months ago
Jehovah's Witnesses be like: "We don't do Halloween!"
Me: "I guess they already get enough random people knocking on their door..." 😂
2 months ago
When your girlfriend finds out you're the volleyball guy from Cast Away and won't let Wilson talk 🤫
2 months ago
Me: Can I offer you a small prayer of thanks for the glutes? 🙏
2 months ago
Me admiring my sourdough starter after two years of neglect.
2 months ago
When you miss driving the school bus so much, that you build a gaming station out of it 😂
2 months ago
When your car gets more action than you 😂 #NissanMaxima #RelationshipGoals
2 months ago
Me explaining why I don't have tattoos: "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"💅