Me trying to get life advice from a magic 8 ball ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€
14 days ago
When your coworker is more offended by "God damnit" than by the R-word ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
That's one way to blow bubbles. ๐Ÿ˜
14 days ago
When you and the squad try to "Be Different" but end up looking exactly the same ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
Europeans calculating how much to tip at a restaurant ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
When you see Medusa at a party but you're already stoned๐Ÿ—ฟ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
When your partner says they like toys in the bedroom, but you're on different wavelengths ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
Me trying to tell my boss I deserve a promotion and he hits me with, "We'll spreadsheet about it."
14 days ago
When you're worried about calories but your doctor gives you some *interesting* medical advice ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
Me, bored out of my mind, gaslighting some ants in my kitchen ๐Ÿœ
14 days ago
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?" "Yes. All the others were nines or tens." Me: ๐Ÿ˜‚ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
14 days ago
She's about to enter a whole new dimension of disappointment ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
Me trying to convince myself to stop crying and go touch some grass: "Stop crying. You're wasting good mascara and main character energy."
14 days ago
Me after accidentally confessing my deepest desires instead of saying "I want to kiss your puppy" ๐Ÿฅน
14 days ago
Me and the boys on our way to find the last surviving Blockbuster.
14 days ago