The kind of backhanded compliment I live for. Happy birthday to me, I guess? 😂🎂
17 days ago
And now you know the real reason Porky Pig always stuttered. Childhood officially ruined. 🐷
17 days ago
When you try to be poetic but your brain has already clocked out for the day. microwave. 🤷‍♂️
17 days ago
That's one way to make a first impression on your future father-in-law. 😬
17 days ago
The only version of The Lion King I'd pay to see in theaters again. I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plain! 🦁
17 days ago
Modern problems require modern solutions. Disney's legal team is the best content removal service on the internet. 🧠
17 days ago
When someone wishes you a 'Happy Columbus Day' and you have to use every muscle in your body to correct them. It's Indigenous Peoples' Day! ✊
17 days ago
If only Noah had paid his climate tax, he could've just bought a boat instead of building one. Modern problems require modern solutions! 🤷‍♂️
17 days ago
A wholesome craft with an unwholesome truth bomb. Now I can't stop thinking about this at networking events. 🤝
17 days ago
Grandpa's out here with the vintage 'Nostalgia' fit, and I have some questions. 💀
17 days ago
The level of evil genius it took to name the fear of palindromes 'Aibohphobia' is truly unparalleled. 💀
17 days ago
Forget gender reveals, let's start celebrating the relationship milestones that really matter. So proud of them! 😂
17 days ago
You better watch out, you better not cry... Santa's coming to town and he needs one more Ho for the road. 😉
17 days ago
When your 3 AM thoughts are too cursed for the homies to handle, and they have to shut you down immediately.
17 days ago
My music taste ranges from 18th-century sea shanties to death metal to anime openings. The Spotify algorithm is working harder than my therapist. 🤖💥
17 days ago