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Me trying to explain to my therapist why I can't function like a normal human being ๐
3 months ago
Me trying to avoid eye contact with everyone while walking so I donโt have to socialize ๐
3 months ago
New washing instructions are terrifying. ๐ฉ
3 months ago
How many Wile E. Coyotes had to fall off this cliff for the government to be like, "You know what? We should put a sign!" ๐
3 months ago
Potatoes are the GOAT ๐ฅ๐. Other vegetables could never.
3 months ago
This cafe has a very interesting name and they feel the need to specify what it ISN'T ๐
3 months ago
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough ๐
3 months ago
Boy Scouts teaching essential survival skills: identifying toilet paper alternatives in the wild ๐
3 months ago
Me trying to figure out how much I should be spending on my wine. Should I use time instead of money? ๐ท
3 months ago
Why flat earthers think 5G is dangerous. The curve of the Earth protects normal people from 5G but flat earthers got a direct hit to their tiny brains ๐
3 months ago
When it's 3 p.m. and you're a Muslim MotoGP racer: 'Allahu Akbar! (even if it's mid-turn)' ๐
3 months ago
Me, stuck in traffic: "I'm not even mad, that's impressive."
3 months ago
When you're a Jedi Master but the council cuts your funding. ๐ May the spare change be with you.
3 months ago
Even a Sith Lord needs a little help sometimes. Especially when the Death Star construction costs are through the roof! ๐
3 months ago
Me after my boss tells me "we need to talk": "$1 per insult sounds reasonable. Let's go, I'm ready to buy a house!"