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Dad: "Can't decide which hand to use?" ๐
8 months ago
My dog doesn't care if I come home at 3 AM smelling like cheap beer and regret. He's just hyped I'm there. ๐
8 months ago
Spooning: For girls - cute, warm, and straight to sleep. For boys - a face full of hair, a dead arm, and a raging boner ๐
8 months ago
When you desperately want to go water skiing but also need to pick up the kids from school๐
8 months ago
When your rival steals your girl (and your Squirtle costume) ๐ญ
8 months ago
When you ask a billionaire how he became a billionaire ๐
8 months ago
When you thought you finally found an empty stall and someone looks over ๐๐
8 months ago
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future ๐
8 months ago
And then I said: "I don't care how much money you have, I love you for who you are!"
8 months ago
Me casually walking into my parents room at 2 AM to ask if they have any games on their phone.
8 months ago
When your friend asks what your worst sex story is. ๐คข
8 months ago
Me trying to subtly help my friend realize they have something on their butt ๐
8 months ago
American tourists when they see a manual car in Europe: ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ
8 months ago
When you accidentally confess your infidelity to your girlfriendโs identical twin sister ๐
8 months ago
Some traditions never change. Just the year and the person being carried. ๐