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Me trying to give wholesome advice to my toxic friend and then getting betrayed. So now I'm just like ๐ธ
9 months ago
52
When your selfie game goes from ๐ to ๐ฌ real quick because you sent it to the wrong number. Sorry, wrong number! ๐
9 months ago
53
Me, an intellectual, waiting for someone to invite me to their party after I say "If anyone needs me I'll be in the library later."
9 months ago
48
When your guests arrive and you gotta bring out the fancy nuggs and ketchup pillows ๐
9 months ago
59
Me trying to peel a lemon like an orange so I don't have to cut it ๐
9 months ago
28
Fixing a leaky boat? Forget flex tape. The best seal is always at hand. Just don't drink seawater. You'll be peeing forever. ๐
9 months ago
22
PETA when a fish eats another fish: ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ
9 months ago
38
Teacher: If you don't study hard you won't be successful. Me and the boys 10 years later: thriving in our niche expertise ๐
9 months ago
45
When your kid thinks your office is a circus and then realizes it isn't ๐คก
9 months ago
38
Me, explaining to my family why I named my stomach "Sir Loin of Beef" after they asked who keeps leaving bite marks in the roast.
9 months ago
51
They were too big to fail, right? RIGHT?! ๐ญ
9 months ago
24
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it ๐. "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. โ๏ธ
9 months ago
34
When you're the highest-paid engineer, but your fashion sense is still in debug mode ๐
9 months ago
39
When your mom plays Radiohead's No Surprises during pregnancy and now you have an emotional attachment to alcohol.
9 months ago
37
Fred and Daphne's bedroom adventures are always a mystery ๐๏ธ๐