I'm a big fan of geography puns. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I find they really expand my horizons.
19 days ago
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds. Genie: 👁️👄👁️
19 days ago
When you ask for a picture of the truck and get a selfie instead 😂. "Of the truck, dumbass!"
19 days ago
Back in my day, identity theft was as easy as opening the mailbox 😂
19 days ago
Girls when they get a 99/100 while boys when they lose 3 wars and still act cool 😎
19 days ago
Millennials trying to adult in this economy. 😭 First homes, then retirement and now eggs?! What's next, we can't afford air? 💀
19 days ago
Me trying to decide if I'm hot or cold after stepping out of the shower 😂
19 days ago
When you've spent 8 months in the black void of space contemplating the meaning of existence, and all you get upon your return is a Katy Perry concert and some forced patriotism.
19 days ago
When your job treats you like 💩, you write your resignation letter on toilet paper 😂
19 days ago
Me after paying my taxes and waiting for the roads to be fixed 😂
19 days ago
Men produce... 🤔... masterpieces! Like this meme, for example. 😂
19 days ago
Me refreshing Twitter waiting to be told what I'm offended by today 😂
19 days ago
Me trying to make a quick exit from a conversation I don't want to be in 😬
19 days ago
When 420 falls on Easter weekend, Snoop Dogg is ready to celebrate! 🐰💨🥚
19 days ago
Jeff Bezos and Katy Perry really vibing to the new hit single "Tax Evasion" 😂
19 days ago