Me: *hands cashier wasp spray* Is this good for wasps? 
Cashier: *scanning* No, it kills them. 😂
Me: *hands cashier wasp spray* Is this good for wasps? Cashier: *scanning* No, it kills them. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
88
If you know 5 people without problems, I NEED their numbers. Asking for a friend.
If you know 5 people without problems, I NEED their numbers. Asking for a friend.
11 months ago
66
Colombian protestor activates his shield and becomes Captain South America. He is now ready to fight for his beliefs 🛡️🇨🇴
Colombian protestor activates his shield and becomes Captain South America. He is now ready to fight for his beliefs ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด
11 months ago
85
Me trying to convince my grandpa to go at least the speed limit 😈
Me trying to convince my grandpa to go at least the speed limit ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
11 months ago
87
When you call the addiction helpline for cocktail recipes 🍹
When you call the addiction helpline for cocktail recipes ๐Ÿน
11 months ago
91
Me ignoring all the red flags🚩 because he's cute 😂
Me ignoring all the red flags๐Ÿšฉ because he's cute ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
101
Me trying to figure out if my $7.17/month girlfriend subscription includes benefits😂
Me trying to figure out if my $7.17/month girlfriend subscription includes benefits๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
99
Finally, a plumber who understands the concept of "anytime after 5:00 p.m. on a weekday" 😂
Finally, a plumber who understands the concept of "anytime after 5:00 p.m. on a weekday" ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
58
When you and your mini-me match so hard, a DNA test is just a formality. 😂
When you and your mini-me match so hard, a DNA test is just a formality. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
85
Emily may have only 5 followers, but she has the support of the entire Galactic Empire.  She's about to execute Order 66 on those who disagree with her.
Emily may have only 5 followers, but she has the support of the entire Galactic Empire. She's about to execute Order 66 on those who disagree with her.
11 months ago
77
When life gives you lemons, dilute them for maximum profit or just use something else entirely. It's called capitalism, look it up
When life gives you lemons, dilute them for maximum profit or just use something else entirely. It's called capitalism, look it up
11 months ago
85
WWI & WWII: Bombs away! 💣. WWIII: Syringes away! 💉.  They don't make wars like they used to. Now we fight with vaccines instead of bombs. Stay woke. 👀
WWI & WWII: Bombs away! ๐Ÿ’ฃ. WWIII: Syringes away! ๐Ÿ’‰. They don't make wars like they used to. Now we fight with vaccines instead of bombs. Stay woke. ๐Ÿ‘€
11 months ago
73
Me pretending to be productive 😂. So relatable it hurts!
Me pretending to be productive ๐Ÿ˜‚. So relatable it hurts!
11 months ago
86
When she wants the R8, but your bank account says 'salami and bologna special' 😂
When she wants the R8, but your bank account says 'salami and bologna special' ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
96
"Woke up dead" 💀 has way more dramatic flair than "died in their sleep" 😴
"Woke up dead" ๐Ÿ’€ has way more dramatic flair than "died in their sleep" ๐Ÿ˜ด
11 months ago
115