When you reach enlightenment but you're a pear
When you reach enlightenment but you're a pear
1 year ago
153
Making of The Dictator: When you accidentally throw away the script and have to improvise the entire movie.
Making of The Dictator: When you accidentally throw away the script and have to improvise the entire movie.
1 year ago
212
Me trying to decipher my brain after one too many adult beverages 😂
Me trying to decipher my brain after one too many adult beverages ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
149
Earth in 2500: On fire 🔥. Mars in 2500: Beach vibes 🏖️.  Who would've thought? 😂
Earth in 2500: On fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ. Mars in 2500: Beach vibes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ. Who would've thought? ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
158
When you want to join the mounted police but you're not a horse. 🐴👮
When you want to join the mounted police but you're not a horse. ๐Ÿด๐Ÿ‘ฎ
1 year ago
152
When you find the real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow 🍻🌈
When you find the real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒˆ
1 year ago
185
Me choosing to become a software engineer after realizing how crowded and noisy the library gets during exam week. 💀
Me choosing to become a software engineer after realizing how crowded and noisy the library gets during exam week. ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
151
Her: Why did we need radios, our relationship is over. 
Him: Building his cardboard fort of solitude.  Our relationship is what? Over.
Her: Why did we need radios, our relationship is over. Him: Building his cardboard fort of solitude. Our relationship is what? Over.
1 year ago
132
Never date a girl who works at Subway! She knows what a real 6" looks like 😂
Never date a girl who works at Subway! She knows what a real 6" looks like ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
125
Me trying to call 911 after my face got rekt by a gang of pixels. 😭
Me trying to call 911 after my face got rekt by a gang of pixels. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 year ago
204
Me trying to look cute in my profile picture vs. me five minutes later realizing I have 10 assignments due tomorrow 😂
Me trying to look cute in my profile picture vs. me five minutes later realizing I have 10 assignments due tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
156
She's not just breaking the law, she's breaking the cycle of dirty dishes. A true criminal mastermind.
She's not just breaking the law, she's breaking the cycle of dirty dishes. A true criminal mastermind.
1 year ago
144
Me trying to avoid awkward small talk when I run into my gynecologist outside of the clinic 😂
Me trying to avoid awkward small talk when I run into my gynecologist outside of the clinic ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
163
When your liberal minded lesbian neighbors ask for your help conceiving a child "the old fashioned way" and you've been trying to knock them up for 6 months after getting a vasectomy last year 😬
When your liberal minded lesbian neighbors ask for your help conceiving a child "the old fashioned way" and you've been trying to knock them up for 6 months after getting a vasectomy last year ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
1 year ago
145
Me: *hands cashier wasp spray* Is this good for wasps? 
Cashier: *scanning* No, it kills them. 😂
Me: *hands cashier wasp spray* Is this good for wasps? Cashier: *scanning* No, it kills them. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
165