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If you know 5 people without problems, I NEED their numbers. Asking for a friend.
1 year ago
121
Colombian protestor activates his shield and becomes Captain South America. He is now ready to fight for his beliefs ๐ก๏ธ๐จ๐ด
1 year ago
143
Me trying to convince my grandpa to go at least the speed limit ๐
1 year ago
147
When you call the addiction helpline for cocktail recipes ๐น
1 year ago
156
Me ignoring all the red flags๐ฉ because he's cute ๐
1 year ago
198
Me trying to figure out if my $7.17/month girlfriend subscription includes benefits๐
1 year ago
178
Finally, a plumber who understands the concept of "anytime after 5:00 p.m. on a weekday" ๐
1 year ago
108
When you and your mini-me match so hard, a DNA test is just a formality. ๐
1 year ago
145
Emily may have only 5 followers, but she has the support of the entire Galactic Empire. She's about to execute Order 66 on those who disagree with her.
1 year ago
129
When life gives you lemons, dilute them for maximum profit or just use something else entirely. It's called capitalism, look it up
1 year ago
164
WWI & WWII: Bombs away! ๐ฃ. WWIII: Syringes away! ๐. They don't make wars like they used to. Now we fight with vaccines instead of bombs. Stay woke. ๐
1 year ago
142
Me pretending to be productive ๐. So relatable it hurts!
1 year ago
152
When she wants the R8, but your bank account says 'salami and bologna special' ๐
1 year ago
167
"Woke up dead" ๐ has way more dramatic flair than "died in their sleep" ๐ด
1 year ago
209
Me in 1999: 'Pshhh, peak human civilization? Yeah right!'
Me in 2024: 'So about those robot overlords...'