This tattoo was his pride and joy... until he showered with his new homies. ๐Ÿ˜‚
13 days ago
Me performing CPR on my sugar daddy after he said he was broke
13 days ago
When you accidentally stumble upon the hardware store's "White Power Accessories" aisle and realize it's just light switches ๐Ÿ’€. #AccidentalRacism #HomeImprovement
13 days ago
When you wake up and find out your one-night stand could have lasting consequences๐Ÿ˜ฌ
14 days ago
Stages of a veteran's life after war: 1. Wheelchair bound. 2. Begging in the streets. 3. Rocking back and forth in a chair, clutching his only remaining friend, Mr. Snuggles.
15 days ago
Me trying to get life advice from a magic 8 ball ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€
15 days ago
When you run out of diapers and have to improvise in a post-apocalyptic world. Duct tape: the ultimate parenting hack. ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ’ฉ
16 days ago
When you water your plants but are worried they might grow up to be weeds ๐Ÿ˜‚
16 days ago
When you want to make a statement, but you're also a walking hazard. ๐Ÿ˜…
16 days ago
Me trying to convince my friend to join my pyramid scheme: "Become a #bossbabe and get 72 Lamborghinis!" ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚
17 days ago
Chris, age 6, is definitely going places. Just not college.
18 days ago
Me editing my "To-Do" list after realizing I forgot a couple of errands ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
18 days ago
POV: You're a Pop-Tart cat on 9/11. (Too soon?)
18 days ago
Me trying to maintain eye contact with the toilet camera to assert dominance ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
19 days ago
5 out of 6 ain't bad, right? ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
20 days ago