When the speed radar thinks you're a Formula 1 car, but you're actually a fighter jet 🏎️✈️🚓
When the speed radar thinks you're a Formula 1 car, but you're actually a fighter jet ๐ŸŽ๏ธโœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿš“
1 year ago
113
The only virus I wouldn't mind getting. It's more helpful than my IT department! 😂
The only virus I wouldn't mind getting. It's more helpful than my IT department! ๐Ÿ˜‚
27 days ago
53
The real hustle is selling the hustle. 🧠
The real hustle is selling the hustle. ๐Ÿง 
9 months ago
145
When you need to drop the kids off at the pool... in the nth dimension. Prepare for turbo shit! 🚀🌌
When you need to drop the kids off at the pool... in the nth dimension. Prepare for turbo shit! ๐Ÿš€๐ŸŒŒ
11 days ago
14
Me protecting my virginity like it's the last slice of pizza on earth 🍕🔪
Me protecting my virginity like it's the last slice of pizza on earth ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ”ช
1 year ago
84
Me, trying to convince myself I'm not an alcoholic after my third 'work from home' happy hour this week. 🍹
Me, trying to convince myself I'm not an alcoholic after my third 'work from home' happy hour this week. ๐Ÿน
1 year ago
141
Me trying to eat healthy and going to McDonald's for a salad 😂
Me trying to eat healthy and going to McDonald's for a salad ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
132
Me trying to out-therapy my therapist by becoming their therapist's therapist. It's theraption.
Me trying to out-therapy my therapist by becoming their therapist's therapist. It's theraption.
1 year ago
134
When you have to be festive but you're dead inside. 🎄
When you have to be festive but you're dead inside. ๐ŸŽ„
27 days ago
60
When you take your job at Burning Man a little *too* seriously.  😂 #BurningMan #DrugDisposalTechnician
When you take your job at Burning Man a little *too* seriously. ๐Ÿ˜‚ #BurningMan #DrugDisposalTechnician
1 year ago
110
Me pretending to listen to her vent about Susan from accounting after I finish 😩
Me pretending to listen to her vent about Susan from accounting after I finish ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
1 year ago
99
When your partner says 'Cover me!' and you're both on a night shift. 😂
When your partner says 'Cover me!' and you're both on a night shift. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
107
When you're trying to make peace but her overprotective 'friend' has other ideas. 😬
When you're trying to make peace but her overprotective 'friend' has other ideas. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
19 days ago
69
When you accidentally make a mom think you're homeless but you're actually just vibin' 😂
When you accidentally make a mom think you're homeless but you're actually just vibin' ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
64
If abortion is murder, then my ex owes me a LOT of prison time for all those blowjobs.
If abortion is murder, then my ex owes me a LOT of prison time for all those blowjobs.
1 year ago
135