So *that's* the test? Good to know where his eyes were... and weren't. 😂
29 days ago
Me after a first date explaining to her the intricacies of the lizard people controlling the world's banking systems, even though I know there won't be a second date. At least she knows the truth now.
2 months ago
When you see your type of guy
2 months ago
Me trying to subtly show off my limited edition Jordans on a first date.
4 months ago
Me after eating chili on a first date: 🔥💨
4 months ago
First date chili? More like first date to the ER 💥🚽
4 months ago
When your moral compass argues with your 'better' judgment 🤔💭😈
5 months ago