Dad: *Buys cat so daughter isn't always on her phone.* Daughter and Cat: *Become phone addicts together.* ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Banks be like: "We have 20 AC units running 24/7, but please save the planet by not taking a receipt." ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
They say the Bible is against gay marriage. I'm starting to think they just skipped the part about getting stoned.
1 month ago
Me, in a wheelchair, seeing a sign that says "Today is the day we take the stairs": Well, challenge accepted! I mean, maybe not today... but definitely someday... or maybe not.
2 months ago
Enjoy Capitalismโ„ข - now available in a refreshing, exploitative flavor.
2 months ago
Me trying to convince myself that ordering 5 packages in one day from Amazon is environmentally friendly because it reduces trips ๐Ÿคก
2 months ago
This guy really needs to read the fine print before getting a tattoo. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
2 months ago
When you try to look tough in your yearbook photo but end up looking like you just got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
"I'm gonna own those atheists by posting about Jesus on Facebook using my iPhone!" ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
When you accidentally become a symbol of hope and freedom after burning books, banning music, hating blacks and murdering gays ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
2 months ago
Big tech says they're stopping misinformation, but then they also... ๐Ÿค”
2 months ago
When inclusivity forgets to include the other side of the story ๐Ÿค”
2 months ago
When an atheist tries to find a Santorum supporter on Craigslist ๐Ÿ’€
3 months ago
When you and the squad try to "Be Different" but end up looking exactly the same ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
When you get arrested on Opposite Day, it means you're actually being set free... right? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago