70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow!  ☀️
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! โ˜€๏ธ
1 year ago
221
When your wife says you can't have a Ducati in the living room.  So you mount it on the wall, like a piece of art. 🖼️🏍️
When your wife says you can't have a Ducati in the living room. So you mount it on the wall, like a piece of art. ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ๏ธ
1 year ago
221
I don't always have network problems… but when I do, I blame the hamsters powering the servers.
I don't always have network problemsโ€ฆ but when I do, I blame the hamsters powering the servers.
1 year ago
221
When you ask your male friend to walk a mile in a woman's shoes, and he takes it *way* too literally👠
When you ask your male friend to walk a mile in a woman's shoes, and he takes it *way* too literally๐Ÿ‘ 
1 year ago
221
My car be like after I ignore the check engine light for 6 months 😂
My car be like after I ignore the check engine light for 6 months ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
221
Me trying to maintain eye contact with the toilet camera to assert dominance 👁️👄👁️
Me trying to maintain eye contact with the toilet camera to assert dominance ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
1 year ago
221
Me trying to drive a friend's car after years of driving automatic 😂 #shortpeopleproblems
Me trying to drive a friend's car after years of driving automatic ๐Ÿ˜‚ #shortpeopleproblems
1 year ago
221
That explains why stormtroopers have such bad aim 😂. They can't shoot or drive because they are always distracted.
That explains why stormtroopers have such bad aim ๐Ÿ˜‚. They can't shoot or drive because they are always distracted.
1 year ago
221
Me trying to explain to my mom that growing a beard doesn't mean I lost my job as a web developer 😂
Me trying to explain to my mom that growing a beard doesn't mean I lost my job as a web developer ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
221
When people try to roast you but you take it as a compliment 😂
When people try to roast you but you take it as a compliment ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
221
Me explaining to my history teacher why I don't trust the government:  📉
Me explaining to my history teacher why I don't trust the government: ๐Ÿ“‰
1 year ago
221
When your mixtape is fire 🔥 but nobody wants to pay for it 🏴‍☠️💀
When your mixtape is fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ but nobody wants to pay for it ๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
221
When you're tired of being a peasant and want to become a king... or queen 👑 (if you know what I mean 😉)
When you're tired of being a peasant and want to become a king... or queen ๐Ÿ‘‘ (if you know what I mean ๐Ÿ˜‰)
1 year ago
221
When an atheist tries to find a Santorum supporter on Craigslist 💀
When an atheist tries to find a Santorum supporter on Craigslist ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
221
When city kids visit a farm for the first time 😂 #detroit #countrylife #oink
When city kids visit a farm for the first time ๐Ÿ˜‚ #detroit #countrylife #oink
1 year ago
221