When you wish upon a star 🌟...or in this case, a magic lamp 🧞‍♂️.  Be careful what you wish for, kids! 😂  Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
When you wish upon a star ๐ŸŒŸ...or in this case, a magic lamp ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™‚๏ธ. Be careful what you wish for, kids! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
1 year ago
217
It's fine to have one, and it's okay to be proud of it. But please, keep it in your pants! Nobody wants to see it waving around in public, and certainly not shoved down our children's throats. #Religion #Boundaries #Respect
It's fine to have one, and it's okay to be proud of it. But please, keep it in your pants! Nobody wants to see it waving around in public, and certainly not shoved down our children's throats. #Religion #Boundaries #Respect
1 year ago
217
When you win the race but lose your pants ๐Ÿ˜‚ #F1 #ValenciaGP #RedBull
1 year ago
217
Me trying to justify to my mom that subtitles aren't for babies 😂
Me trying to justify to my mom that subtitles aren't for babies ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
217
Mario's Valentine's Day card is wholesome, Dry Bones' is 💀, but Bowser's... yikes.  Poor Peach needs a restraining order.
Mario's Valentine's Day card is wholesome, Dry Bones' is ๐Ÿ’€, but Bowser's... yikes. Poor Peach needs a restraining order.
1 year ago
217
Americans after finishing a single fry 🍟: 👏👏👏
Americans after finishing a single fry ๐ŸŸ: ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
1 year ago
217
When you accidentally open the front-facing camera 🤳
When you accidentally open the front-facing camera ๐Ÿคณ
1 year ago
217
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it 😂.  "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. ✍️
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it ๐Ÿ˜‚. "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. โœ๏ธ
1 year ago
217
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
1 year ago
217
This is my financial advisor now 💰
This is my financial advisor now ๐Ÿ’ฐ
1 year ago
217
When your self-driving car is actually someone playing Grand Theft Auto in Bangalore 😂
When your self-driving car is actually someone playing Grand Theft Auto in Bangalore ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
217
My brain's spam filter is working perfectly. 🍺😂
My brain's spam filter is working perfectly. ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
217
The kind of backhanded compliment I live for. Happy birthday to me, I guess? 😂🎂
The kind of backhanded compliment I live for. Happy birthday to me, I guess? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽ‚
10 months ago
217
When hunting bounties, but you still want to be internet famous! 🐶💼 #MuchWow #SuchDanger
When hunting bounties, but you still want to be internet famous! ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ’ผ #MuchWow #SuchDanger
1 year ago
216
🚫🐶 No Doggy Style Allowed! South Africa's health minister is taking new measures in the bedroom. Who knew public health could be so... personal? 😂 #HealthMatters
๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿถ No Doggy Style Allowed! South Africa's health minister is taking new measures in the bedroom. Who knew public health could be so... personal? ๐Ÿ˜‚ #HealthMatters
1 year ago
216