When you wish upon a star ๐...or in this case, a magic lamp ๐งโโ๏ธ. Be careful what you wish for, kids! ๐ Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
1 year ago
217
It's fine to have one, and it's okay to be proud of it. But please, keep it in your pants! Nobody wants to see it waving around in public, and certainly not shoved down our children's throats. #Religion #Boundaries #Respect
1 year ago
217
When you win the race but lose your pants ๐ #F1 #ValenciaGP #RedBull
1 year ago
217
Me trying to justify to my mom that subtitles aren't for babies ๐
1 year ago
217
Mario's Valentine's Day card is wholesome, Dry Bones' is ๐, but Bowser's... yikes. Poor Peach needs a restraining order.
1 year ago
217
Americans after finishing a single fry ๐: ๐๐๐
1 year ago
217
When you accidentally open the front-facing camera ๐คณ
1 year ago
217
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it ๐. "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. โ๏ธ
1 year ago
217
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
1 year ago
217
This is my financial advisor now ๐ฐ
1 year ago
217
When your self-driving car is actually someone playing Grand Theft Auto in Bangalore ๐
1 year ago
217
My brain's spam filter is working perfectly. ๐บ๐
1 year ago
217
The kind of backhanded compliment I live for. Happy birthday to me, I guess? ๐๐
10 months ago
217
When hunting bounties, but you still want to be internet famous! ๐ถ๐ผ #MuchWow #SuchDanger
1 year ago
216
๐ซ๐ถ No Doggy Style Allowed! South Africa's health minister is taking new measures in the bedroom. Who knew public health could be so... personal? ๐ #HealthMatters