When you realize your 'secret' isn't so secret ๐ #OopsMoment
1 year ago
148
Me trying to draw the Union Jack from memory after my 5th pint. Close enough.
1 year ago
148
I can't believe this game exists.๐ It's called "Guess Poo" and you have to guess what kind of poop your opponent has.๐ฉ I'm dying!๐คฃ
1 year ago
148
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook?
Her: ...Why do you watch porn...?
Me: GET OUT ๐ช
1 year ago
148
Me: "Mom can I play just for a few minutes?"
Mom: "OK"
Hours later...
1 year ago
148
Science vs Religion: One promises a cure, the other promises a miracle. Choose wisely ๐
1 year ago
148
Is your man this cheesy? ๐ I guess it's time to get a new clock... or a new man? ๐ค
1 year ago
148
Airbnb vs. Hotel: One comes with endless rules and a hefty cleaning deposit, the other with a predictable, boring room and peace of mind. Choose your fighter! ๐
1 year ago
148
When you're trying to set a new PR, but your spotter is a toddler.๐ถ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ #NoExcuses
1 year ago
148
Me pretending to be surprised when I find 3-week old leftovers in the back of the fridge: ๐ฑ
1 year ago
148
Me explaining to my doctor that the constant, agonizing pain I feel is just a Tuesday.
1 year ago
148
Five cats died taking a bullet for you? That's impressive dedication, or maybe just terrible aim on the shooter's part ๐ค๐
1 year ago
148
This new pacemaker doubles as a phone charger! Talk about a bonus feature ๐
1 year ago
148
When you accidentally create a never-ending cycle of ๐ณ