This lettuce expires on *which* Monday?! What if I need to eat it on *every* Monday?! ๐ฉ
11 months ago
49
Me after eating 413 chicken nuggets:
My body: *windows shutting down sound*
11 months ago
49
Me after wearing the stress-converting bracelet for 5 minutes: I have become Thor, God of Thunder โก๏ธ(and anxiety).
11 months ago
49
When Bruce Willis takes "Amazing Race" a bit too literally ๐
11 months ago
49
When someone steals your Happy Meal, so you steal their happiness. ๐
11 months ago
49
Me trying to carry my team in every online game. ๐
11 months ago
49
Teenagers when the internet is down: ๐ฑ
11 months ago
49
When you win the race but lose your pants ๐ #F1 #ValenciaGP #RedBull
11 months ago
49
A captain always goes down...with his lifeboat. ๐
11 months ago
49
When you accidentally stumble upon the hardware store's "White Power Accessories" aisle and realize it's just light switches ๐. #AccidentalRacism #HomeImprovement
11 months ago
49
Me trying to impress my crush by sliding down the railing. ๐ค๐
11 months ago
49
When your sandwich is so good, you have to make it look disgusting to keep people away from it. ๐
11 months ago
49
Thor: "I was never gay."
Thanos: "I understand. Let me just snap my fingers so that everyone forgets you were ever gay."
Thor: "Wait, what?!" ๐
11 months ago
49
Me pretending to be confident before attempting anything slightly challenging ๐
11 months ago
49
When you ask a billionaire how he became a billionaire ๐