When you're a tech guy at a strip club and trying to decide which OS is the best
10 months ago
49
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
10 months ago
49
Me working so my cat can live their best life ๐
10 months ago
49
Me and the boys showing up to Sunday mass after a weekend of intense Larping ๐
10 months ago
49
When your marketing team understands the assignment ๐
10 months ago
49
This is my financial advisor now ๐ฐ
10 months ago
49
These logos went from their teenage angst phase to their 'I have a 401k and pay my mortgage on time' phase.
10 months ago
49
"I'm not saying God is racist, but have you seen the first drafts?"
10 months ago
49
POV: You're a golden retriever on acid. ๐ถโ๏ธ๐
9 months ago
49
Me trying to convince myself that I don't need this carpet alarm clock in my life when I absolutely do โฐ๐
9 months ago
49
When your partner says 'Cover me!' and you're both on a night shift. ๐
9 months ago
49
If the next trend was quiet quitting social media, THAT would be great.๐ฑ๐คซ
9 months ago
49
In Ireland, you don't choose the water temperature, the water chooses you. ๐ฅโ๏ธ
9 months ago
49
Me after a first date explaining to her the intricacies of the lizard people controlling the world's banking systems, even though I know there won't be a second date. At least she knows the truth now.
9 months ago
49
๐ฐ When the 'van of opportunity' calls, remember: safety first, lifting technique second! ๐