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Me trying to figure out what time it is after daylight savings ๐ด
1 year ago
196
Me considering a career in politics after seeing how little accountability there is ๐
1 year ago
283
Mario's Valentine's Day card is wholesome, Dry Bones' is ๐, but Bowser's... yikes. Poor Peach needs a restraining order.
1 year ago
244
When you're 'pro-life' but also 'pro-war' and 'pro-guns'. ๐ค Make it make sense!
1 year ago
195
'Murica! Land of the free, home of the brave, and birthplace of the phrase 'So what if we are number 47 in healthcare?' ๐บ๐ธ๐๐
1 year ago
238
When you take fantasy football a little too seriously ๐
1 year ago
188
Just another day conquering Poland and posting selfies on Insta. #blessed #fรผhrer #instawar
1 year ago
265
Me trying to convince myself that the fan is a heartbeat and I'm not just lonely ๐ญ
1 year ago
240
When your marketing strategy is on point ๐. "First drink's on us...and so is something else ๐."
1 year ago
338
So true! ๐ Men are always searching for new connections, while women connect to the strongest and best one. It's all about range and signal strength. ๐ถ
1 year ago
257
When you skip leg day but accidentally max out on wing day ๐ช๐ฆ
1 year ago
281
God accidentally added a pinch of assholes to Earth. Oops. ๐ฌ
1 year ago
223
Me trying to explain to my wife why I suddenly became nostalgic looking at a black couch ๐
1 year ago
246
When your pre-workout is a little differentโฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ช
1 year ago
317
When your mom says your breath smells like c*nt and you try to prove her wrong.