You can't argue with the data. The statistics are clear on this one. 👩‍🚀🏳️‍🌈
9 hours ago
Forget the Grand Canyon, I'm taking my next vacation to the majestic Lake McDonald's. 🛶
22 hours ago
The stapler from Floor 4 is having a better vacation than I am. They said do not remove, they didn't specify from where. 😂
1 day ago
Fighting the tyranny of physical perfection by only getting swole on the right side. This isn't laziness, it's performance art. 🤌
1 day ago
If Elon can juggle rockets, tweets, and a dozen kids, she can definitely text you back. Know your worth, king. 👑
1 day ago
When you think it's your lucky night but you just landed on the permanent naughty list. 🎅
2 days ago
Back in my day, these were the four horsemen of the internet apocalypse. We've come so far. 👴
2 days ago
A man with his priorities straight. Some things are more important than a cure. 😂
2 days ago
Splinter's stealth training program seems to have some... inconsistencies. Nothing says 'hidden' like a giant blimp with your name on it. 😂
2 days ago
Even Jesus has his limits, and that limit is basic autumn drink requests. 🎃☕
2 days ago
When you try to hit a home run but you're living in an Amish paradise. A schwing and a miss!
2 days ago
When you search for 'easy Halloween costumes' and find your true calling as a cozy, human-sized slug. 🐛
2 days ago
When you find a loophole in the system that comes with three built-in girlfriends. Modern problems require modern solutions. 😎
2 days ago
The only holiday truck we wanted to see pull up in 2020. Santa got a new sponsor that year. 💉
2 days ago
That awkward moment when you try to pronounce your medication's name and accidentally summon the dark lord. Well, this is awkward. 🐐
2 days ago