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Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: ๐ฆ๐คฐ
1 year ago
133
When you are the only one at the party with an invitation ๐
1 year ago
293
Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. ๐ค So, what's the difference again? ๐
1 year ago
285
Facebook's security check be like: "Prove you're not a robot by typing 'humping grandchildren'"
1 year ago
183
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.
THUNDERSTORMS
6 times less likely to happen in a kitchen ๐
1 year ago
231
That TMNT costume has seen some things ๐ข๐
1 year ago
171
Me after taking a caffeine pill to clean my bathroom ๐
1 year ago
170
When your "rebellion" is sponsored by the mainstream media ๐ค
1 year ago
180
Me when my friend tries to show me another "news" article ๐. All I see is ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ.
1 year ago
273
Morpheus: "The mainstream media lies about literally everything." Michael Scott: "Okay, I'm going to need you to verify that claim with a link to a credible mainstream media article."
1 year ago
280
When you graduate with $500k in student loans and all you can say is "Free Palestine" ๐
1 year ago
141
Me, realizing I missed out on both the Age of Exploration and interstellar travel: ๐ญ
1 year ago
160
My internet knows me better than I know myself ๐
1 year ago
177
When your friend's fantasy goes a little too far...๐