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Men then: Fighting in wars, building nations. Men now: Taking selfies, wearing skinny jeans. ๐ The times, they are a-changin'! (and possibly for the worse? ๐ค)
1 year ago
190
Me trying to explain to my parents how I'm going to become a millionaire with my perpetual motion machine. ๐โก๏ธ๐
1 year ago
166
When she says she wants a real man ๐
1 year ago
148
Me trying to draw the Union Jack from memory after my 5th pint. Close enough.
1 year ago
187
Jesus looking up like: "C'mon guys, at least one sin a day. Keeps the doctorโฆand me in business. ๐๐"
1 year ago
219
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a dead pig, grab some C4! ๐ฅ๐ท
1 year ago
192
My ex had this weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time. Like, girl, who hurt you? ๐
1 year ago
184
When you just really want a Pepsi but also kinda want a seizure. Epilepsy, the official sponsor of spontaneous fits of happiness (and maybe some other stuff too ๐).
1 year ago
198
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! ๐คฑโโ๏ธ๐
1 year ago
114
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! โ๏ธ
1 year ago
190
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. ๐ค
1 year ago
125
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally ๐ฌ
1 year ago
207
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks ๐
1 year ago
195
Finally, a parking ticket worth getting excited about! ๐คฉ Is it double the fine or a free pass? ๐ค The suspense is killing me! ๐
1 year ago
203
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.