Me after listening to my friends complain about their significant others for the 100th time 😭😂 #foreveralone
Me after listening to my friends complain about their significant others for the 100th time ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚ #foreveralone
1 year ago
174
Men then: Fighting in wars, building nations. Men now: Taking selfies, wearing skinny jeans. 😂 The times, they are a-changin'! (and possibly for the worse? 🤔)
Men then: Fighting in wars, building nations. Men now: Taking selfies, wearing skinny jeans. ๐Ÿ˜‚ The times, they are a-changin'! (and possibly for the worse? ๐Ÿค”)
1 year ago
248
Me trying to explain to my parents how I'm going to become a millionaire with my perpetual motion machine. 🔌⚡️😂
Me trying to explain to my parents how I'm going to become a millionaire with my perpetual motion machine. ๐Ÿ”Œโšก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
210
When she says she wants a real man 😂
When she says she wants a real man ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
187
Me trying to draw the Union Jack from memory after my 5th pint. Close enough.
Me trying to draw the Union Jack from memory after my 5th pint. Close enough.
1 year ago
259
Jesus looking up like: "C'mon guys, at least one sin a day. Keeps the doctor…and me in business. 🙏😈"
Jesus looking up like: "C'mon guys, at least one sin a day. Keeps the doctorโ€ฆand me in business. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜ˆ"
1 year ago
277
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a dead pig, grab some C4! 💥🐷
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a dead pig, grab some C4! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿท
1 year ago
256
My ex had this weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time. Like, girl, who hurt you? 😂
My ex had this weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time. Like, girl, who hurt you? ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
248
When you just really want a Pepsi but also kinda want a seizure. Epilepsy, the official sponsor of spontaneous fits of happiness (and maybe some other stuff too ๐Ÿ˜‰).
1 year ago
256
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! 🤱‍♀️😂
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! ๐Ÿคฑโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
171
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow!  ☀️
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! โ˜€๏ธ
1 year ago
262
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. 🤔
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. ๐Ÿค”
1 year ago
158
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally 😬
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
1 year ago
275
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks 😂
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
240
Finally, a parking ticket worth getting excited about! 🤩 Is it double the fine or a free pass? 🤔 The suspense is killing me! 😂
Finally, a parking ticket worth getting excited about! ๐Ÿคฉ Is it double the fine or a free pass? ๐Ÿค” The suspense is killing me! ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
275