Me trying to have a private conversation in the US 🇺🇸🤫
3 months ago
When you're a soldier, and all you think about is war.
3 months ago
America is #1. Number one in heart attacks, total crimes, CO2 emissions, and prisoners! Also leading in teen birth rate and plastic surgery. If winning means having the most McDonald's, America is number one there too. 🇺🇸🥇
3 months ago
George Bush: I screwed you all. But thanks for blaming it on the black guy 😂
3 months ago
Me trying to remember if the midterm elections were yesterday, today, or next week after hitting the bong.
3 months ago
When your math homework says "show your work":
3 months ago
When your campaign slogan accidentally aligns with some of history's most notorious figures 😬
3 months ago
That's a lot of drugs!🔥 Cops 10 - Mexico 0 😂
3 months ago
When your Vegas slot machine has more security and transparency than the national election. 🤔
3 months ago
Hillary's having a real tough time focusing on the task at hand 😂
3 months ago
When you switch from portrait to landscape mode 😂🖋️
3 months ago
When you ask for milk and they give you a history lesson instead 🍼📚
3 months ago
When bumper stickers go from 0 to 100 real quick. 🚗💥
3 months ago
When you're pumped about things only you can see! 💪😆
3 months ago
🔥 When your flags become the hottest trend on the international runway! 🔥😲
3 months ago