"It's just a fake account babe, I swear!"  🤫😂 The level of deception in relationships today is unmatched. Next time, just hide your phone in a secret underground bunker.  📱🔒
"It's just a fake account babe, I swear!" ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜‚ The level of deception in relationships today is unmatched. Next time, just hide your phone in a secret underground bunker. ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ”’
1 year ago
111
Playing a real Les Paul: chicks dig it. Playing Guitar Hero: you might get lucky at a Guitar Hero party, but only if you're really, REALLY good. (And let's be real...probably not.) 😂
Playing a real Les Paul: chicks dig it. Playing Guitar Hero: you might get lucky at a Guitar Hero party, but only if you're really, REALLY good. (And let's be real...probably not.) ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
98
Me trying to access my account after buying a single coffee ☕
Me trying to access my account after buying a single coffee โ˜•
1 year ago
109
He won the parking lottery, but at what cost? 🤔
He won the parking lottery, but at what cost? ๐Ÿค”
8 months ago
147
Always double-check if they said 'pretty' or 'petty' before you pull out the 'I have a boyfriend' card. 💀
Always double-check if they said 'pretty' or 'petty' before you pull out the 'I have a boyfriend' card. ๐Ÿ’€
8 months ago
142
Resident Evil 6: Where the logo is more terrifying than the zombies.
Resident Evil 6: Where the logo is more terrifying than the zombies.
1 year ago
78
When you take too much acid and start debugging the matrix
When you take too much acid and start debugging the matrix
1 year ago
81
Happy 9/11?  This cake is definitely taking the cake for the most inappropriate dessert ever. It's like they said, 'Let's combine a national tragedy with buttercream frosting!'
Happy 9/11? This cake is definitely taking the cake for the most inappropriate dessert ever. It's like they said, 'Let's combine a national tragedy with buttercream frosting!'
1 year ago
107
When you light up a cigarette, you're just chilling. When *he* lights up a cigarette, it's suddenly a public menace. 😂
When you light up a cigarette, you're just chilling. When *he* lights up a cigarette, it's suddenly a public menace. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
109
A spicy take on modern discourse where the 'privilege' of working in a coal mine is compared to the 'oppression' of doing house chores. 🤔
A spicy take on modern discourse where the 'privilege' of working in a coal mine is compared to the 'oppression' of doing house chores. ๐Ÿค”
3 months ago
204
Me trying to be polite when someone rings my doorbell during the Super Bowl.
Me trying to be polite when someone rings my doorbell during the Super Bowl.
1 year ago
111
Me at 2 AM: "I'm not drunk enough to send this text." 
My phone: "Are you sure about that?" 🥴
Me at 2 AM: "I'm not drunk enough to send this text." My phone: "Are you sure about that?" ๐Ÿฅด
1 year ago
125
When customer service goes above and beyond 😂. A family of walruses on vacation? No problem! 🏖️
When customer service goes above and beyond ๐Ÿ˜‚. A family of walruses on vacation? No problem! ๐Ÿ–๏ธ
1 year ago
134
When you're trying to make peace but her overprotective 'friend' has other ideas. 😬
When you're trying to make peace but her overprotective 'friend' has other ideas. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
10 days ago
44
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended 😂 #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended ๐Ÿ˜‚ #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
1 year ago
97