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Reptilians creating humans to farm goyim for shekels. Illuminati confirmed๐คฏ
2 months ago
When you're trying to improve the gene pool but your standards are too high ๐
2 months ago
Me after my boss tells me "we need to talk": "$1 per insult sounds reasonable. Let's go, I'm ready to buy a house!"
2 months ago
Finally, a job that pays me for what I do best ๐ฉ๐ฝ
2 months ago
Me explaining to my dog why we can't have steak every night ๐ฅฉ๐ญ
2 months ago
Me when I see money vs. Me after spending it all.
2 months ago
When you're so rich, your bed is made of money, but your spam folder is full of desperate pleas for help ๐
2 months ago
Getting a tax return is like giving the government an interest-free loan for a year. ๐
2 months ago
Tom Cruise: Highest paid actor of all time!
Volodymyr Zelenskyy: Hold my beer ๐บ
2 months ago
Me handing over my credit card after seeing the limited edition Futurama merchandise. ๐ฐ
2 months ago
Me performing CPR on my sugar daddy after he said he was broke
2 months ago
Me trying to access my account after buying a single coffee โ
2 months ago
This cat is playing the long con. ๐น
3 months ago
When you accidentally make a mom think you're homeless but you're actually just vibin' ๐
3 months ago
Me trying to hide from my cat's vet bills ๐น๐ธ