Me, an atheist, petting the tiger: 'Sup, stripes?'🐅
1 month ago
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook? Her: ...Why do you watch porn...? Me: GET OUT 🚪
1 month ago
When sarcasm hits too close to reality 😂
1 month ago
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
1 month ago
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
1 month ago
Me trying to decide if I want a Big Mac or a McChicken.
1 month ago
When brunch with the squad turns into an accidental life event 🍹🤦‍♀️
1 month ago
When your coffee preference says more than words ever could! ☕️😅
1 month ago
When cultural appropriation goes too far 😂
1 month ago
Nikki: We shouldn’t eat animals, they are our friends! How would you like it if I ate YOU?! Todd: I know 3 guys who did...
1 month ago
When your sense of humor is darker than my grandma's burnt toast 💀
1 month ago
When the government says it's for your own good 😂
1 month ago
When your dog has more game than you 😂 #doglife #unexpected
1 month ago
When you accidentally reveal too much about your "knowledge" of Central Park at night 😬
2 months ago
The magic of the internet: sending absolutely nothing since forever! 🚀😂
2 months ago