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When you realize 4am is way past a baby's bedtime 😂 #parenting
11 months ago
35
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
11 months ago
38
Me trying to apply math problems to real life 😂
11 months ago
46
Me trying to subtly suggest a search term to someone looking over my shoulder browsing Google Images. 🤫
11 months ago
26
Me editing my "To-Do" list after realizing I forgot a couple of errands 😈
11 months ago
27
Me pretending to save water by taking shorter showers 😂
11 months ago
31
When your dad thinks you're doing Lauren, but you're actually doing laundry. 😂
11 months ago
31
It's not what it looks like, officer. They're just LEGO plants for my LEGO garden.🌿
11 months ago
61
Me pretending to have free will by flipping a coin to make all my life choices.🪙
11 months ago
42
When you find out your "best friend" spent $250 on your dinner and you're like 👀🤑
11 months ago
30
Chris, age 6, is definitely going places. Just not college.
11 months ago
46
*Sees bus ad about sexual assault*
Me: I understand this is a serious issue.
My brain: So you're saying it *doesn't* happen anywhere else? 🤔
11 months ago
51
When you bring your doll to the company's movie night 🎎🍿
11 months ago
34
Me 13 years later still trying to remember who my childhood crush was 😂
11 months ago
50