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Me justifying to myself why I need that new RTX 4090 ๐
6 months ago
Jesus returns and says what every MAGA republican is thinking ๐ค
6 months ago
When you're the last man on Earth, but you prefer your own company ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐
6 months ago
Cardio is key to surviving a zombie apocalypse. Just keep those treadmills running and they wonโt reach your house. You can even catch up on Netflix while the zombies get their daily steps in. ๐โโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ๐
6 months ago
When the squirrels discover the bird feeder is more than just a snack dispenser ๐๐จ
6 months ago
When your wife is more interested in the catch of the day than your actual catch ๐
6 months ago
When you mistake the fire hose cabinet for abstract expressionism ๐
6 months ago
"Does your dog bite?" "Nah." *5 seconds later* "WOOF BARK GRRR...BANG!"
6 months ago
AI: I can replace programmers, just give me clear specs. Product Managers: The customer wants a button that does stuff. ๐
6 months ago
When the doctor says you're eating for two, but it's not twins. ๐ฌ
6 months ago
IT guy showing up 3 days later to fix the wifi like: I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to.
6 months ago
UZON's marketing team deserves a raise. They understood the assignment. ๐
6 months ago
Bane: Eastern Europeans moving West to escape low salaries
Pink Guy: Western Europeans moving East to escape high cost of living
Me: *Confused screaming*
6 months ago
Vegans be like: "No animals were harmed in the making of this salad." Meanwhile, Will Smith is like: "Hold my beer, I've got a whole ecosystem in my tractor beam!"
6 months ago
Hillary and Obama were playing Mafia Wars in a UN meeting and Putin was the one who killed Hillary in the game ๐