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Happiness is submission to GODZILLA!๐ฆ
10 months ago
35
Me and my partner having a nutritional breakfast ๐ณ
10 months ago
22
Me trying to sound professional online vs. how I actually come across ๐
10 months ago
25
When you desperately need a cure but your Tourettes has other plans ๐
10 months ago
24
Yo dog, we heard you like dogs, so we put a dog on the phone so you can talk to a dog while you're on the phone ๐ถ๐
10 months ago
26
One guy sold stolen ideas and got called Jesus, the other invented C and UNIX and got... ignored? ๐ค The tech world is a strange place. ๐
10 months ago
31
Me trying to find the "X" in my ex's reasons for leaving.
10 months ago
26
Uranus: I'm not sure what's tighter, my rings or my sphincter after this headline ๐ช๐ฌ
10 months ago
16
When you call the Graffiti Removal Hotline and they send this guy ๐
10 months ago
31
When you carve your pumpkin too close to Halloween and it starts to decompose. ๐คข๐
10 months ago
36
When you're having a bad day, just remember there's an artist out there who filled a phone booth with goldfish and called it art. ๐ ๐
10 months ago
15
Me, explaining to Karl Marx why I charge for fishing lessons: ๐ฃ "It's not about the fish, Karl, it's about the hustle. Supply and demand, baby!"
10 months ago
29
If you like Twilight, then you're probably...sparkly โจ๐งโโ๏ธ
10 months ago
33
Me when the fire alarm goes off at 3 a.m and I remember all my assignments are due tomorrow ๐
10 months ago
34
Me trying to impress my crush with my "amazing" dance moves ๐