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Me when someone offers me the last slice of pizza
6 months ago
CRT monitors: built for maximum cat comfort. LCD monitors: feels bad, bro.
6 months ago
One society helps each other when disaster strikes. The other society loots and causes violence when disaster strikes.๐ค
6 months ago
"Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Mohammad."
Me: *has a heart attack*
Daughter: "Just kidding, he's named Steve."
Me: "Thank god, for a second there, I thought I was going to have to learn Arabic."
6 months ago
When you compare Kashmir by Led Zeppelin to Friday by Rebecca Black, you realize how far music has "evolved". ๐
6 months ago
This children's book is lit! ๐ฅ ...and then extinguished. ๐ฆ
It's smart, stupid, open, closed, and definitely boy or girl. ๐
6 months ago
When she says โtwo checks pleaseโ ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
6 months ago
Me trying to convince myself to go out on a Friday night ๐ธ
6 months ago
Building Stonehenge? Easy peasy. Just follow these simple instructions! ๐คฃ
6 months ago
POV: When your trying to relax next to the runway but the jet blast has other plans for you ๐
6 months ago
When you try to explain your code to someone who doesn't understand programming ๐
6 months ago
When you accidentally wear your pants too low at the office and everyone can see your happy trail. ๐ฌ
6 months ago
Me after learning you sleep on your belly: ๐
6 months ago
Me trying to convince my boyfriend to play Metroid Prime with me ๐
6 months ago
When you find your roommate's porn folder and it makes your "special folder" look PG13 ๐