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When you just really want a Pepsi but also kinda want a seizure. Epilepsy, the official sponsor of spontaneous fits of happiness (and maybe some other stuff too 😉).
11 months ago
30
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! 🤱‍♀️😂
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! 🤱‍♀️😂
11 months ago
23
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! ☀️
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! ☀️
11 months ago
26
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. 🤔
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. 🤔
11 months ago
20
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally 😬
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally 😬
11 months ago
24
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks 😂
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks 😂
11 months ago
27
Finally, a parking ticket worth getting excited about! 🤩 Is it double the fine or a free pass? 🤔 The suspense is killing me! 😂
Finally, a parking ticket worth getting excited about! 🤩 Is it double the fine or a free pass? 🤔 The suspense is killing me! 😂
11 months ago
21
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
11 months ago
18
Yo, check it, it's ya boy A.H. droppin' some sick rhymes 'bout my life. Straight outta Braunau, Austria, representin' the Third Reich. Keepin' it real with Eva in the back, license plate sayin' 'Fuhrer.' Word to your mother.
Yo, check it, it's ya boy A.H. droppin' some sick rhymes 'bout my life. Straight outta Braunau, Austria, representin' the Third Reich. Keepin' it real with Eva in the back, license plate sayin' 'Fuhrer.' Word to your mother.
11 months ago
20
Buzz Lightyear sippy cup: "It ain't gonna suck itself!" 😂
Buzz Lightyear sippy cup: "It ain't gonna suck itself!" 😂
11 months ago
27
When you accidentally eat pork, but remember to repent before it’s too late 😂🙏
When you accidentally eat pork, but remember to repent before it’s too late 😂🙏
11 months ago
27
When she's upset and says tell me everything but doesn't want solutions just wants you to listen 😭😂
When she's upset and says tell me everything but doesn't want solutions just wants you to listen 😭😂
11 months ago
26
If he pauses his game in the middle of a boss fight just to text you back, you better put a ring on it!💍
If he pauses his game in the middle of a boss fight just to text you back, you better put a ring on it!💍
11 months ago
11
Me trying to figure out if my steak is medium rare using advanced technology 😂
Me trying to figure out if my steak is medium rare using advanced technology 😂
11 months ago
22
When you realize "shuttlecock" sounds a bit sus 😂. At least it wasn't taken, right? 😏
When you realize "shuttlecock" sounds a bit sus 😂. At least it wasn't taken, right? 😏
11 months ago
28