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When you slide into her DMs with Duke Nukem lines and she actually replies ๐
1 year ago
132
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
1 year ago
134
"I find your lack of Darth Invader disturbing."
1 year ago
162
When customer service goes above and beyond ๐. A family of walruses on vacation? No problem! ๐๏ธ
1 year ago
161
Me trying to understand my math homework after staring at it for 5 minutes straight
1 year ago
113
When you realize the baby formula aisle at the supermarket is actually the Bat Signal.๐ฆ
1 year ago
97
Me when someone offers me the last slice of pizza
1 year ago
146
CRT monitors: built for maximum cat comfort. LCD monitors: feels bad, bro.
1 year ago
93
One society helps each other when disaster strikes. The other society loots and causes violence when disaster strikes.๐ค
1 year ago
119
"Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Mohammad."
Me: *has a heart attack*
Daughter: "Just kidding, he's named Steve."
Me: "Thank god, for a second there, I thought I was going to have to learn Arabic."
1 year ago
70
When you compare Kashmir by Led Zeppelin to Friday by Rebecca Black, you realize how far music has "evolved". ๐
1 year ago
76
This children's book is lit! ๐ฅ ...and then extinguished. ๐ฆ
It's smart, stupid, open, closed, and definitely boy or girl. ๐
1 year ago
74
When she says โtwo checks pleaseโ ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
1 year ago
138
Me trying to convince myself to go out on a Friday night ๐ธ
1 year ago
143
Building Stonehenge? Easy peasy. Just follow these simple instructions! ๐คฃ