When you're young and already know what you want to be when you grow up ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
Enroll now in Breivik's Swim School: Where sinking is not an option (or is it?). ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ’€
2 months ago
When your LiveJasmin date gets a little *too* exciting ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
2 months ago
When you run out of lotion and you're desperate ๐Ÿ’€
2 months ago
When your ex takes ghosting to the next level ๐Ÿ’€
2 months ago
This tattoo was his pride and joy... until he showered with his new homies. ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
Me performing CPR on my sugar daddy after he said he was broke
2 months ago
When you accidentally stumble upon the hardware store's "White Power Accessories" aisle and realize it's just light switches ๐Ÿ’€. #AccidentalRacism #HomeImprovement
2 months ago
When you wake up and find out your one-night stand could have lasting consequences๐Ÿ˜ฌ
2 months ago
Stages of a veteran's life after war: 1. Wheelchair bound. 2. Begging in the streets. 3. Rocking back and forth in a chair, clutching his only remaining friend, Mr. Snuggles.
3 months ago
Me trying to get life advice from a magic 8 ball ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€
3 months ago
When you run out of diapers and have to improvise in a post-apocalyptic world. Duct tape: the ultimate parenting hack. ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ’ฉ
3 months ago
When you water your plants but are worried they might grow up to be weeds ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
When you want to make a statement, but you're also a walking hazard. ๐Ÿ˜…
3 months ago
Me trying to convince my friend to join my pyramid scheme: "Become a #bossbabe and get 72 Lamborghinis!" ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago