Me trying to convince Facebook I have a date for Valentine's Day ๐Ÿ˜‚ #foreveralone
2 months ago
Friend zone is a dangerous place. Many fall, few escape ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
When you get arrested for loving your neighborโ€™s kid a little TOO much ๐Ÿ˜‚ #valentinesdayfail #cupidgonewrong
2 months ago
When your ex's new boyfriend asks how the "used goods" are, but you're packing more than just two inches. ๐Ÿ˜
2 months ago
She said, if you get a tattoo of my initial, Iโ€™ll go out with you. Now Iโ€™m single with a permanent โ€˜Kโ€™ on my wrist. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
3 months ago
"How to start flirting with a woman" Step 1: Approach with confidence Step 2: Gently tap her with your foot to get her attention Step 3: Run๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ
3 months ago
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?" "Yes. All the others were nines or tens." Me: ๐Ÿ˜‚ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
3 months ago
Trying to understand women's logic is as hard as finding parking in NYC. ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
When you realize your ideal partner exists only in your mind ๐Ÿ˜‚ #RamboHousewife
3 months ago
Self-defense for women 101 ๐Ÿ˜‚. Step 1: Assume a guarded stance. Step 2: Begin discussing commitment. Step 3: Watch as male flees in terror. Works every time! ๐Ÿ˜‰
3 months ago
Leo, buddy, maybe try flowers first next time ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
Women want equality, but only when it suits them. Like when the bill comes at a fancy restaurant. Or when the 80 lb. box needs to be carried. ๐Ÿค”
3 months ago
When you gotta coordinate pick-up and drop-off times with the side chick so she doesn't run into the main girl ๐Ÿ˜‚ #RiskyBusiness
3 months ago
Shooting your shot and accidentally hitting your crush's sister ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
Me trying to play it cool after my date goes to the bathroom and never comes back ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ
3 months ago