When your S.O. turns the lights on at 3am to find their phone after you just dutch ovened them. ๐
1 year ago
302
When you get a vasectomy thinking it'll prevent pregnancy, but then you realize it just dictates the baby's skin tone ๐. Looks like someone needs a paternity test! #UnexpectedTwist
1 year ago
302
Me pretending to care when my toxic ex texts me saying she's having a bad day ๐
1 year ago
302
Me trying to explain to my dentist why I haven't flossed in a week ๐
1 year ago
302
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? More like Teenage Mutant DILL Pickles! ๐
1 year ago
302
Me trying to explain to my earth parents that I identify as a martian ๐๐ฝ
1 year ago
302
Me trying to find the motivation to adult and buy groceries after a long day ๐ฉ
1 year ago
302
Bill Gates gives billions to cure diseases and remains perfectly healthy. Steve Jobs kept billions and died of cancer. Priorities people! ๐
1 year ago
302
When you're the last man on Earth, but you prefer your own company ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐
1 year ago
302
Me trying to function after sitting down for too long. ๐ฅฒ
1 year ago
302
Me trying to assemble furniture from IKEA.
1 year ago
302
When your superpower is infinite tolerance ๐ธ๐ชโจ #CaptainSweden
1 year ago
302
When you have to be festive but you're dead inside. ๐
5 months ago
302
That first family gathering after waking up must have been... interesting. ๐ฌ
4 months ago
302
When yoga and bubble baths just donโt cut it anymore! ๐๐