And they say office jobs are boring. This Polish Police Chief certainly knows how to make a bang! ๐ฅ๐ต๐ฑ
4 months ago
197
When you try to organize your heists but forget your Twitter lists are public. DJ Germ was a menace. ๐
3 months ago
197
When the universe sends you mixed signals about your life choices. ๐
3 months ago
197
๐ When the Indian Ocean slides into your DMs like: 'Helo saxy bby' ๐คฃ
1 year ago
196
When the only surgeon around is...you ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ง
1 year ago
196
When the need for Zelda surpasses family ties โก๐น๏ธ
1 year ago
196
Me, an intellectual, 100 ft away from the cat: *discussing the geopolitical ramifications of the Crimean War*
Me, 2 ft away from the cat: *makes incomprehensible baby noises at it*
1 year ago
196
Me when someone says "I'm pregnant and it's yours":๐ถNever gonna give you up๐ถ
1 year ago
196
When you ask Santa for a Fleshlight for Christmas ๐๐ช๐ฑ
1 year ago
196
Third term Bush? More like, "Four More Wars!" ๐ฃ
1 year ago
196
When your winter hiking club is also ready for Easter ๐ฐโ๏ธ๐ญ
1 year ago
196
Yo dawg, I heard you like dolls, so I put a doll inside your doll so you can play with a doll while you play with a doll.
1 year ago
196
When you think youโve got endless morning vibes, but reality hits hard! ๐โฐ
1 year ago
196
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook?
Her: ...Why do you watch porn...?
Me: GET OUT ๐ช
1 year ago
196
Me trying to spice things up after 3 months, vs. my partner's reaction ๐