When you're feeling down but still want to look fabulous ✨💅 #prettydeath
When you're feeling down but still want to look fabulous โœจ๐Ÿ’… #prettydeath
1 year ago
160
When you drop trou in front of a cop car and realize there is an officer inside 😂🚔. Justice served swiftly. #baddecisions #mooning #police
When you drop trou in front of a cop car and realize there is an officer inside ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿš”. Justice served swiftly. #baddecisions #mooning #police
1 year ago
160
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. 😭
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 year ago
160
If the US government was a regular household they would be getting calls from creditors all day! 😂 #NationalDebt #BudgetCuts #Economy
If the US government was a regular household they would be getting calls from creditors all day! ๐Ÿ˜‚ #NationalDebt #BudgetCuts #Economy
1 year ago
160
When fascism comes to America🇺🇸, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross✝️.  (Sinclair Lewis, definitely not 1835 😂)
When fascism comes to America๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a crossโœ๏ธ. (Sinclair Lewis, definitely not 1835 ๐Ÿ˜‚)
1 year ago
160
My doctor said there'd be side effects, but he didn't mention I'd get a new DNA captain. 🧬
My doctor said there'd be side effects, but he didn't mention I'd get a new DNA captain. ๐Ÿงฌ
2 months ago
160
Smoothness level: -100. She wanted a throne, he gave her a face wash. 🤦‍♂️
Smoothness level: -100. She wanted a throne, he gave her a face wash. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
2 months ago
159
The evolution of 'The Science™' in four easy steps. 🤡
The evolution of 'The Scienceโ„ข' in four easy steps. ๐Ÿคก
2 months ago
159
All those years of studying just to become the human shield between the AI and the production environment. At least the view is nice. 🌅
All those years of studying just to become the human shield between the AI and the production environment. At least the view is nice. ๐ŸŒ…
2 months ago
159
When she asks for 3 things but lists 6, and you see the perfect opening for a self-deprecating joke. He's a keeper. 😂
When she asks for 3 things but lists 6, and you see the perfect opening for a self-deprecating joke. He's a keeper. ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
159
When you think God's got your back in preventing unwanted pregnancies from affairs.  🤦‍♀️
When you think God's got your back in preventing unwanted pregnancies from affairs. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
1 year ago
158
Police Medic: "Sir, are you feeling unwell?" 
Protestor: "A little..." 
Police Medic: *Raises baton* "I've got just the cure for that!" 🚑🚨
Police Medic: "Sir, are you feeling unwell?" Protestor: "A little..." Police Medic: *Raises baton* "I've got just the cure for that!" ๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿšจ
1 year ago
158
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds.
Genie: 👁️👄👁️
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds. Genie: ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
1 year ago
158
Me trying to convince my friends I'm a fun person after two quiet drinks: ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿน๐Ÿ˜œ
1 year ago
158
When you say 'that wasn't real communism' and the entire squad of people who lived through it pulls up.
When you say 'that wasn't real communism' and the entire squad of people who lived through it pulls up.
1 month ago
158