Five cats died taking a bullet for you? That's impressive dedication, or maybe just terrible aim on the shooter's part 🤔😂
3 months ago
When you try to "le faire l'amour" and accidentally slip your 🍆 into the 🕳️, then it's like riding a 🐂. 🤠
3 months ago
When you realize European actors are always extra 😂, meanwhile, Americans are like 'I'm too cool 😎 for school 🏫'.
3 months ago
Redheads vs. Gingers 😂 One's a fiery goddess, the other...well, let's just say they're not known for their souls. 🔥 Just kidding (mostly) 😉
3 months ago
When you realize the Mayan calendar didn't account for software updates 😂
3 months ago
When the sun finally rises to smite the goose that keeps waking you up every morning at 5 AM. 🌞🗡️🐔
3 months ago
When you light up a cigarette, you're just chilling. When *he* lights up a cigarette, it's suddenly a public menace. 😂
3 months ago
Me on my deathbed demanding a real laptop because I ain't going out like a peasant with this outdated brick 😂
3 months ago
When you almost score that winning goal but then realize you're on the wrong team 😂 #hockeyfails #oops
3 months ago
Me trying to convince myself it's Sunday so I can justify not doing the dishes and going to work 😴
3 months ago
Me trying to understand how my brain works after staring at this for too long 😵‍💫
3 months ago
Me using Google to find the definition of a word I just used in my essay 😂
3 months ago
Me pretending to know what I'm doing while enabling cookies
3 months ago
CNN be like: "In other news, water is dry, the sun rises in the West, and Switzerland is East of Germany. More at 11."
3 months ago
Me trying to figure out the difference between a Pop-Tart and a Toaster Strudel at 3 AM
3 months ago