When you are driving fast and furious, and there's no family left so you have to actually pay for parking.
5 months ago
Me after telling someone on the internet to just 'learn to code' and 'pull themselves up by the bootstraps'๐Ÿ˜ด
5 months ago
Me trying to explain to my mom that sitting in traffic is less fulfilling than being a professional gamer ๐ŸŽฎ
5 months ago
Isaac Newton in 1670: *opens the door slightly, points a beam of light at the doorknob, and observes a rainbow projected onto a chair* Me: "Newton, what are you doing?" Newton: "Demonstrating that going outside is gay, obviously. ๐ŸŒˆ"
5 months ago
When the dog gets VIP treatment ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿพ
5 months ago
This is why I eat takeout every Mother's Day ๐Ÿ˜‚. It's better to be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to my husband's 'culinary creations' ๐Ÿคข. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there who survived their husband's cooking!๐Ÿ’
5 months ago
Ken, always the romantic. "Doggy style? I'd rather have a puppy!" ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿ’‹ In 100 years, archaeologists will uncover the truth: we were all just skeletons trying to look fabulous for the 'gram. #priorities #beautyisbonesdeep๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
If this is your first night at Waffle House, you have to fight. No syrup for the weak! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฅž
5 months ago
When the marketing team takes "Final Destination" a bit too literally ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
POV: You rolled your eyes at your Mom in 1986
5 months ago
Me trying to remember which key is which without painting them๐Ÿ’…
5 months ago
Me pretending it's Tokyo Drift with my shopping cart when I see a pretty lady in aisle 3 ๐ŸŽ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
I understood the assignment. Now, I'm single and ready to mingle.๐Ÿ’€
5 months ago
That moment when you realize you could've bought groceries for a week with that DoorDash delivery fee ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago