When you ask for caramel apples, but life gives you caramel onions ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿง…๐ŸŽ
2 days ago
Me trying to follow the food pyramid ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ•
2 days ago
Me trying to build a stable financial future with Oreos.
2 days ago
POV: You finally touched the rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ
3 days ago
One slice to rule them all, one slice to find them, one slice to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ•
3 days ago
Some men just want to watch the world chew through five pieces at once and get a massive jaw ache.
4 days ago
Me trying to evenly spread Nutella on my toast without ripping it to shreds ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 days ago
Finally, a pizza I can sleep with and not feel guilty about afterwards ๐Ÿ˜‹
5 days ago
When you're grilling and someone says they're vegetarian: "I DIDN'T ASK IF YOU WERE A VEGETARIAN, I ASKED IF YOU WANTED SOME FUCKIN' BACON!!!" ๐Ÿฅ“๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 days ago
Me pretending to be a meatball in a marinara sauce filled bathtub at 3am
5 days ago
Vegans be like: "No animals were harmed in the making of this salad." Meanwhile, Will Smith is like: "Hold my beer, I've got a whole ecosystem in my tractor beam!"
5 days ago
Me trying to make healthy choices by only eating the chocolate covered bacon ๐Ÿฅ“๐Ÿซ
5 days ago
Roses are red, bacon is red. She wants romance, I want to be fed.๐Ÿฅ“๐ŸŒน
7 days ago
Single? Just make a heart-shaped egg. Problem solved! โค๏ธ
7 days ago
Me showing off the ice spheres I make for my cocktails vs. The device I actually use to make them ๐Ÿ˜‚
8 days ago