My doctor told me to start parking in the handicapped spot… He didn’t specify how. 😂
My doctor told me to start parking in the handicapped spotโ€ฆ He didnโ€™t specify how. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
179
Me at 2 AM: "I'm not drunk enough to send this text." 
My phone: "Are you sure about that?" 🥴
Me at 2 AM: "I'm not drunk enough to send this text." My phone: "Are you sure about that?" ๐Ÿฅด
1 year ago
132
"It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow, brown or normal." I'm dead 💀😂. Who's normal then?  This is why we need better diversity and inclusion training. #EqualityForAll #DiversityAndInclusion
"It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow, brown or normal." I'm dead ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚. Who's normal then? This is why we need better diversity and inclusion training. #EqualityForAll #DiversityAndInclusion
1 year ago
71
When rock hits its peak and oil runs on E 🎸🛢️
When rock hits its peak and oil runs on E ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ›ข๏ธ
1 year ago
170
Be like a panda: black, white, Asian, and packing heat against racism. 🐼🔫
Be like a panda: black, white, Asian, and packing heat against racism. ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ”ซ
1 month ago
103
When the comedian's punchline involves two of the biggest internet rabbit holes. 🎤
When the comedian's punchline involves two of the biggest internet rabbit holes. ๐ŸŽค
7 months ago
178
When you realize Whitney Houston's music really *was* dope after hearing about the cause of her death 💀
When you realize Whitney Houston's music really *was* dope after hearing about the cause of her death ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
77
Joe Rogan discovering peanuts grow in the ground and not on trees. 😂 Squirrels would destroy peanut trees if they existed. 🐿️
Joe Rogan discovering peanuts grow in the ground and not on trees. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Squirrels would destroy peanut trees if they existed. ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ
1 year ago
91
Steve Jobs when he finds out your doorbell has more than one button 😂
Steve Jobs when he finds out your doorbell has more than one button ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
73
Me trying to resist the urge to check Facebook every 5 seconds when I have a deadline looming. 😩
Me trying to resist the urge to check Facebook every 5 seconds when I have a deadline looming. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
1 year ago
79
Husband has seen his wife in lingerie before... thousands of times! It doesn't seem to bother him, but he is over sunsets.
Husband has seen his wife in lingerie before... thousands of times! It doesn't seem to bother him, but he is over sunsets.
1 year ago
64
When you're late for work and your boss is a crow. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
137
When the code compiles but the mission isn't quite human-proof 🙃
When the code compiles but the mission isn't quite human-proof ๐Ÿ™ƒ
1 year ago
113
Who needs muscles when you've got hodl strength? 💪💰
Who needs muscles when you've got hodl strength? ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ฐ
1 year ago
114
God: *creates an atheist* Me: So you're just gonna create someone who doesn't believe in you? God: Who are you to question my wisdom? Me: You created me too...🤔
God: *creates an atheist* Me: So you're just gonna create someone who doesn't believe in you? God: Who are you to question my wisdom? Me: You created me too...๐Ÿค”
1 year ago
79