Me explaining why I don't have tattoos: "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"💅
Me explaining why I don't have tattoos: "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"๐Ÿ’…
1 year ago
124
Bella: "Edward, I just changed my tampon. Would you like some tea?"🧛‍♀️🩸☕ 

Edward: 🧛‍♂️ (heavy breathing)
Bella: "Edward, I just changed my tampon. Would you like some tea?"๐Ÿง›โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿฉธโ˜• Edward: ๐Ÿง›โ€โ™‚๏ธ (heavy breathing)
1 year ago
113
Me trying to impress my crush with my "amazing" dance moves 😂
Me trying to impress my crush with my "amazing" dance moves ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
100
When your WiFi is stronger than your will to walk 🤖📶
When your WiFi is stronger than your will to walk ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ“ถ
1 year ago
112
Me trying to out-therapy my therapist by becoming their therapist's therapist. It's theraption.
Me trying to out-therapy my therapist by becoming their therapist's therapist. It's theraption.
11 months ago
125
🚨 Breaking News: Scientists announce new strain of 'Dictatorship'—proceed with caution! 🧬🔬
๐Ÿšจ Breaking News: Scientists announce new strain of 'Dictatorship'โ€”proceed with caution! ๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ”ฌ
1 year ago
135
Well, they asked for a solution to wealth inequality and were not prepared for the answer. 🤷‍♂️
Well, they asked for a solution to wealth inequality and were not prepared for the answer. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
8 months ago
126
When you're a Jedi Master but the council cuts your funding. 😔 May the spare change be with you.
When you're a Jedi Master but the council cuts your funding. ๐Ÿ˜” May the spare change be with you.
1 year ago
142
When therapy goes from talking it out to pulling it out... 😂🩸
When therapy goes from talking it out to pulling it out... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฉธ
1 year ago
72
When night-time snuggles turn into morning surprises 😂🛏️
When night-time snuggles turn into morning surprises ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ›๏ธ
1 year ago
139
Me trying to figure out which line is the shortest at airport check-in 😂
Me trying to figure out which line is the shortest at airport check-in ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
68
When you forget to remember but remember to forget! 🧠🤔
When you forget to remember but remember to forget! ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿค”
1 year ago
63
POV: You're a Pop-Tart cat on 9/11. (Too soon?)
POV: You're a Pop-Tart cat on 9/11. (Too soon?)
1 year ago
73
One bad hat can ruin your whole look. Just sayin' 🤷‍♂️
One bad hat can ruin your whole look. Just sayin' ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
1 year ago
110
Celebrating a decade of love, or as the locals call it, 'Exhibit A'. 😂
Celebrating a decade of love, or as the locals call it, 'Exhibit A'. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
70