I guess this jigsaw puzzle isn't suitable for vegetarians after all 😂
5 hours ago
Me after my nap asking my roommate if they were the one who drew a mustache and beard on me with sharpie and glued pubes on my face: 😂
5 hours ago
When Dexter organizes an event for people who can't come, it's gonna be a... dry run. ðŸ’Ķ😂
5 hours ago
When your coworker gets a new iPhone and you're in the mood for some dark humor 😂😈
5 hours ago
When your kid tells you about their first bj and its with YOU 👁ïļðŸ‘„👁ïļ
16 hours ago
Me trying to outrun my responsibilities.
16 hours ago
Me and the boys eliminating the problem ðŸ—ŋ
16 hours ago
When you're with Minnie and Donald walks in 👁👄👁
17 hours ago
*Sees bus ad about sexual assault* Me: I understand this is a serious issue. My brain: So you're saying it *doesn't* happen anywhere else? ðŸĪ”
17 hours ago
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
19 hours ago
Savage Level: Expert 😂
22 hours ago
Eric Cartman's Guide to Roasting Your Friends (South Park Edition) 😂
1 day ago
When politeness meets paranoia 😂. It's a 'thank you,' not a declaration of war! #overthinking
1 day ago
Me and the boys about to become a smoothie. 💀
2 days ago
When your flight instructor says "practice your emergency landings anywhere" 💀✈ïļðŸŠĶ
3 days ago