When you think you've hit rock bottom in your relationship but then you realize you are both meant to be. Happy Valentines Day! ❤️
4 months ago
When you see your type of guy
4 months ago
I was watching one of those casting couch porn videos then I saw the same actress in a different video, I was like 'so she got the part' 😂
4 months ago
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
4 months ago
I guess you could say he was horsing around a bit too much. 😂
4 months ago
When snowmen realize they're just pre-shredded ski slopes. ⛄️🎿
4 months ago
Germans realizing they only have to deal with two world wars now. 🎉
4 months ago
Netflix, you've got some explaining to do. Recommending "The Human Centipede" after "A Bug's Life"? 🐛➡️😱 Kids, avert your eyes! This ain't no sequel.
4 months ago
Me trying to mansplain after my bottom surgery 💅
4 months ago
Taxpayers: What is my purpose? Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles. Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
4 months ago
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: 😭
4 months ago
Me trying to understand vampire logic 😂
4 months ago
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains 💀🔥. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid 😂).
4 months ago
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web. 🐸💻🌌
4 months ago
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
5 months ago